14 Things That Helped Me Find Food Freedom
Published on: 24 Nov, 2024 By: Meera
What Food Freedom Means To Me…
Food Freedom is being able to live my life without being held down by the shackles of diet culture. I eat to sufficiently fuel my daily activities and to nourish my body and soul, I don’t rely on food to cope with life problems, and I have a positive view of foods, regardless of what their nutritional labels look like.
It means that I’ve made peace with food, and the rules of diet culture do not dictate what, when, or why I eat. Instead, I follow my instincts, and hunger/ fullness cues to determine those things.
Personally, my poor relationship with food was interwoven with poor body image, and exercise as an attempt to change my appearance, rather than for health. So, in order to achieve food freedom, I had to also make peace with my body and with exercise.
A Little Background
As a kid, although I’d rather have cookies instead of dinner, and was terribly picky, I would still say that I had food freedom. Diet culture had no part to play in my food choices, and I ate whatever, whenever, and I was happy.
But, that peace I had with food was destroyed when I was 14 years old. I was going through puberty and my body was growing. Adults commented on my appearance which scared me because they modelled the idea that being big is bad. I grew up among family and teachers who displayed their own insecurities by projecting them onto others, and even degrading themselves by commenting on their stomachs and arms.
I didn’t want to grow. I wanted to remain as small as my 10-year-old body. So, when the adults treated apples and exercise as weight-loss solutions, and cookies and cake as the problem, I thought I had the equation right.
And, with access to the internet, I absorbed health and fitness information left and right that consisted of myths and fearmongering. Consequently, I fell into the binge-restrict cycle which complicated the following 6 years of my Iife. I found myself amid a labyrinth and didn’t know the way back.
But, I am living a life where I can say that I got out! I found my way back! And I’m so happy and grateful. This was possible through mindset changes, and I’m eager to share with you what they are.
Disclaimer: I am not a dietician or nutritionist. I am only sharing my experience, and what has been helpful to me, because I believe this information may benefit those who are struggling like I did before.
The 14 Things That Helped Me Find Food Freedom
1. Challenging Fear Foods
A fear food is a food that a person is afraid to eat for one or more of the following reasons: its high-calorie content, its reputation for causing health problems, or they fear overeating it and losing control. Any food can be a fear food – avocadoes, bananas, tacos, bread, pizza, cookies, etc.
I’ve had several: anything made with white flour, sugar, nut and seed oils, cake, and mayonnaise. Also, I hesitated to eat more than half a banana in my oatmeal, and more than a teaspoon of peanut butter in a sitting. And, I did not want to introduce other nut butters into my diet because I knew they would’ve been too delicious, as the whole point was for me to have less.
Now, this may sound ridiculous to you, and it is. But, diet culture is quite the force and it rewires your brain to have thoughts like these.
There is absolutely nothing (nothing!) wrong about having white bread, a whole banana in oatmeal, or a piece of toast slathered in peanut butter. I used to have these foods daily as a child and here I am – still alive! I treated those foods like they were poisonous, and it was important for me to prove to my mind that they were not!
So, I started to challenge my fear foods which used to make me happy. I gradually reintroduced pancakes with white flour and chocolate chips, sugar in my tea and coffee, and I measured the peanut butter that I slathered on my toast with my heart, not a spoon or a calorie calculator. It was very uncertain and I hesitated a lot, but it helped when I reminded myself that I needed to break free from the mental shackles of diet culture.
And I had to do this regularly, especially when I felt the fear creeping back in. This was to prove that I wouldn’t be killed. In fact, most of the time after having these foods, I’d feel happy because they were delicious and it felt good to challenge diet culture.
Challenging fear foods is a very important step towards achieving food freedom as there is nothing freeing about having fear.
2. Wearing Clothes That Fit Well
Personally, the messy relationship I had with food was rooted in my body image. So, when I had a bad body image day, I’d be confused about what to eat, how much, or should I even eat?
On the days I felt the most confident in my body, I thought less about food, and was able to focus on life more – work, and enjoyment. And that’s the way it should be.
It’s important to note that my body was never the issue, regardless of what I wore. Although somewhat superficial, looking good in my own eyes was enough to give my mind a break from the whole diet culture/ body dysmorphia – mental combustion, so why not?
I used to wear ill-fitted clothes all of the time to hide my insecurities. But, body confidence was most present when the clothes I wore accentuated my features nicely.
Some clothes just exude confidence when you wear them. And, some clothes fit like a raincoat on a sunny day (no thanks, lol). I give clothes away that are not flattering on me, or are ill-fitted (and nope, I’m not keeping clothes for “when” I get smaller). They gotta go!
Experimenting with fashion and finding what’s simultaneously stylish, comfortable, and well-fitted is the sweet spot. Although, I selectively wear baggy shirts to lounge about, sleep in, or sometimes go out as long as it’s comfortable and has no impact on my body image.
Okay, please take a look at this video. It’s everything I’m talking about!
3. Keeping In Touch With Myself As A Child
I have a lot of sentiment towards my younger self, and I think it’s the same for many people. I think of my 5-year-old self as a girl who loved to eat fries (especially wedges <3). She ate ice cream every afternoon with her brother and loved soft, chewy chocolate chip cookies with a passion! She enjoyed birthdays and Christmases without guilt or regret – just sheer bliss.
And, each time I deny my current self of all the things that she loved (and still loves), and burn myself out with exercise as an “undo” button, I’m betraying her. I’m harming her, and she does not deserve that!
I keep a picture of her where I can see to remind me of her presence within me, and my duty to protect her.
Some good places to keep childhood pictures are on your work desk, in your wallet, or fitted into the frame of your bedroom mirror.
Lil ole me <3
4. Removing Negative Food Labels
As a kid, no food was “bad” or “good” to me. Food was just food – I ate what was delicious, and when I was hungry (and sometimes when I wasn’t hungry).
Returning my mindset around food to what it used to be is one part of achieving food freedom. Because back then, it was freeing to not care about having two slices of bread instead of just one, or not forcing myself to eat a salad instead of the mac & cheese I wanted.
I’ve removed labels like: junk, processed, unhealthy, clean eating, and guilty pleasures.
Imagine a table that has all sorts of food laid out: pasta, pizza, salad, cake, ice cream, smores, and coffee. They are all food. They just have different nutritional profiles – some foods offer more nutrition than others – but that doesn’t mean that the less nutritious foods are bad.
Some foods are just better eaten in smaller amounts than others. I like to think about what makes me feel good, in the moment. Sure, I can have cake if I’m hungry, but I should consider if it’ll give me adequate energy, and make me full and satisfied. Generally, what I prefer to do is have a satisfying meal first, and then have the cake. In that way, I won’t be hangry soon after, I’d feel energised, and much better than having cake alone.
Like all things, every food should be eaten in moderation – if we consume way too much ice cream in one day or in general, we are bound to feel the effects mentally and physically. The same thing will happen if we eat too much broccoli or drink too much water.
A nutritious diet most definitely has room for donuts and muffins. They’re not junk or guilt-foods. They’re called goodies, comfort foods, or sweet treats.
5. Breaking It Down
Somedays, the mental battle of being split between food choices can be loud. When I genuinely want to enjoy a slice of pizza, the voice of diet culture in my head says “That’s made with white flour – will spike your insulin,” or “That has oil – too much fats and calories.” What was supposed to be the enjoyment of a humble slice of pizza became guilt and worry. If you know, you know (I’m sorry if you know).
I like to play a reverse card on this pesky voice. First, I take a deep breath or a few. Second, I reassure myself that what I’m about to eat is food and not poison, regardless if that voice convinces me otherwise.
Then, I break it down into components to see what this food humbly offers me:
6. Curating My Social Media Feeds
Is it just me, or has there recently been a rise in the number of body-positive/anti-diet culture influencers who inspire food freedom, and are vulnerable with their struggles? Either way, I’m glad it’s happening because without them, my life would’ve never seen the light that it’s basking in now (with respect to food freedom).
My Instagram, YouTube, and Pinterest feeds welcome me with influencers like Madeline Olivia and Spencer Barbosa, and many others who expose the fakeness of social media in relation to “perfect bodies” and unrealistic “what I eat in day” videos. They normalise cellulite, stretchmarks, body fat, eating good food, and loving yourself for everything that we are taught to hate.
Any post that’s pro-ED, or promotes health and fitness fearmongering, I tap on the do not recommend option. Changing what content I consume on social media has been one of the most helpful things I’ve done, and I highly encourage it to anyone who struggles with body image, or are trying to erase the mental mumbo jumbo of diet culture.
The women in the pictures below demonstrate how fake social media can be. In the left images, they pose or cover the beautiful features of themselves that we are taught to hate. On the right, they reveal their relaxed and unposed bodies. These types of media made me understand that behind good lighting, poses, and make-up are people who’re just as human as me, and that there’s nothing wrong with my body.
7. I Stopped Calorie Counting
This is a huuggee one! My life changed for the better after I ditched calorie counting.
Instead of numbers, my hunger cues and satiety measured how much I ate, and food noise drastically lessened as I no longer obsessed about how many calories I had “left” for the day.
In the past, if I wanted a bagel, I’d have oatmeal instead because that had more volume and less calories than a bagel. But, calories are actually none of my business. It has nothing to do with me, lol.
Now, if I want a bagel, I’ll have a bagel. If I want oatmeal, I’ll have oatmeal, but neither occasion will have anything to do with calories.
8. Eating Mindfully
I never actually learned about what’s really mindful eating, until recently. My eyes used to hover over the words whenever I read them. But, I am glad (grateful, even) that I eventually learned.
I used to eat a meal and feel physically full, yet I still hungered. I thought I just had a huge appetite. But, that appetite was emotional. I learned to separate the two through mindful eating, which I practice in the following ways:
1. I turn off distractions to focus on my food – no phones, books, or TV. When I’m with others, I do like to engage in conversation while eating. It helps me to slow things down and I still can focus on my food.
2. I Eat slowly – I’m a gal who can down a meal in 5 minutes or less, so slow eating was challenging at first. One thing that helped a lot was setting a timer. I’d set a timer for 10-15 minutes and attempt to make my meal last until the timer went off. In this way, I had to slow down and pay attention.
3. I pay attention to the temperature of the food, the taste of certain components – the umami vegetables, the sweetness of the potatoes, the tanginess of the mayo, and the textures – crunchy vegetables, creamy potatoes, silky mayo.
4. I change what I don’t like—I heat up the food if it’s too cold, add salt/ seasonings/ dressing if it needs more, and so on.
5. I look out for when I’m starting to feel full or satisfied. If I feel full but unsatisfied, I ask myself “What could I do to achieve satisfaction?” Maybe have a sweet something-something? Or, a nice cup of tea? (this one usually hits the spot – I’m a heavy tea-drinker, hehe).
9. I Don’t Have To Finish Everything On My Plate
There’s this saying: “Your body is not a garbage bin.” Our bodies are not where leftovers should be put.
Here’s what I do when it’s confusing to determine my fullness levels: I close my eyes or look away from my plate, and bring my attention to my stomach. I ask myself “If I leave my plate, will I be satisfied?” Sometimes the answer would be “yes”, and when I walk away, I’d be glad I did. But, other times, the answer would be “I could eat some more.”
Since I’ve started to pay attention to this, I’m not overeating, or feeling as bloated and sluggish as before. This is also a part of mindful eating
Since I don’t like food waste, here are some things I’d do with my leftovers: I’d give it to someone who is interested (usually my brother, lol), or cover it with a food cover and return to it later, or I could put it in the fridge for another time.
10. Being Aware Of When I’m Falling Back Into Old Habits (And Nipping It In The Bud)
Restrictive thoughts are sneaky. They wiggle and nestle in familiar parts of our minds. So, when I notice I’m being restrictive, I try to find the root–>> Was there something that triggered that? –>> Bad body image? A family member’s comment? Or, hearing someone glorify body standards that I have not met?
Then, I try to deflect the trigger. I reassure myself with affirmations:
- My weight does not measure my worth because my love and kindness cannot be measured.
- My body is my armor and I treat it with respect.
- My body is my home and my sanctuary. I will not let my judgment, or anyone else’s, through its door.
Or, I watch YouTube videos of people challenging diet culture which make me feel soooo much better. Here are a couple of videos that helped me tremendously. I’m so grateful for these girls:
11. Embracing Spontaneous/ Unplanned Eating
For years, I had a mental schedule of what I’d eat and when. This was my way of gaining control because I didn’t trust myself to make food choices. Why? Because the uncontrollable person I became when I binge ate scared me.
There are two major parts of why I ended up bingeing: restriction and lack of self-trust.
Restriction –>> felt overwhelmed by depriving myself (scarcity) and binge ate to cope (allowed full access) –>> feeling guilty and frustrated (trusted myself less) –>> repeat.
I had to forget this “logic”, cover my eyes, step into the unknown, and allow my inner compass (which I thought was broken) to guide me. In the first place, my loss of control was a result of not trusting my inner compass.
I scrapped the schedule and embraced unplanned eating.
In the past, eating early like 6am scared me because by 10am I’d be hungry again. And, if I were hungry at 12 pm, I wouldn’t eat because that was “too early” to have lunch, and so was 4pm when I wanted a filling meal (but that just means my body is asking to be fed – it doesn’t know what time it is).
Now, whether it is 6am or 10am, I eat breakfast when I feel hungry. And, let’s say I planned to have soup for lunch but feel like having a sandwich instead, I’ll have the sandwich, because that’ll make me feel more satisfied (my body knows what it wants – I just have to trust it).
12. Being Mindful Of Why I Eat
Sometimes, boredom, stress, and thirst can mimic feelings of hunger. I think it’s okay to eat for emotional reasons, but it’s not best as a habit or practice.
I’d drink some water to see which would make me feel better. If the feeling returns soon after, I’d consider grabbing a bite. I ask myself these questions when I’m indecisive about what to eat:
A meal or a snack? A snack. Sweet or savoury? Sweet. Hot or cold? Hot. Maybe, toast with jam and a hot cup of tea.
Determining what feels good increases satiety and allows you to focus on the rest of your day.
However, if I’m not actually hungry, I find activities to do that aren’t food-related, like doing some chores/ work, listening to some music, going outside for a walk, or watching a movie.
An important part of food freedom for me is not leaning on food as a way to cope or solve problems. But, if a cinnamon roll would cheer me up because I fancy it at the time of being stressed, I don’t overthink it.
13. Ditching The All-Or-Nothing Mindset
I struggled with this mentality for years: if I ate two or five cookies, I’d feel obligated to finish the whole sleeve, and the same thing went for if I ate 2/3 a container of ice cream. This tied into the binge/ restrict cycle, and labeling foods as “good” or “bad”.
But, it’s okay to do things like:
- have a cookie and a banana
- leave behind one cookie in the pack
- not feeling like having dessert
- have seconds for dessert
- have a burger and carrot sticks
- have a burger and fries
- make oatmeal but decide I want cereal instead
- have a meal that has minimal or no protein
- have a meal without any veggies or fruits
- have a treat that’s made with both whole-food and refined ingredients (like a banana bread made with oats, brown sugar, and chocolate chips)
- have avocado toast for breakfast, and then later again on the same day
- have breakfast twice – if I eat in the early morning, and feel like having another breakfast-type meal/snack later (I love having two breakfasts, lol).
14. Lastly, I Had To Understand That Diet Culture Is The Thief Of A Life Blissfully Lived
I don’t want to start living life when I’m fifty years old. I want to live now! I want to enjoy ice cream on the crisp afternoons of summer, eat apple pie that’s made with love at Thanksgiving dinner, blow out my birthday candles with the corners of my smile lifting to my ears, and enjoy Christmas cookies, hot chocolates and smores. I want to thoroughly enjoy dinners with friends and on dates.
Food is not the enemy. It’s very humble and kind. It gives us energy and nourishment. I want to eat like I used to as a kid, not care about how many units of energy are in a cupcake, and not let the chip that diet culture inserted into my brain decide for me whether I want pizza or a salad.
I won’t allow diet culture to steal my life.
Final Words
Along this path of finding food freedom is a lot of stumbles, and disappointments. But, sometimes we need those moments to understand things better – what works and what doesn’t.
Progress isn’t linear – there will be good days and not-so-good ones, too. I still struggle some days, but I’ve learned to keep practicing and pushing through. I don’t know when the parasite of diet culture will be gone forever, but for now, I keep moving on and I feel less close to the person who thought she’d never get through it. Now, my good days outnumber the bad ones and it’s so incredible to believe that!
So, even on the days when it feels like you’re back at square one, it’s okay. I promise you that it’s okay, and you’ll be alright.
Just keep going. You got this!
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